My Confession of Love

(Letter to my roommate continued)

...I got a call on my very new and bulky cell phone the day after I got home to the East Coast.  I listened to it so many times that I remember the exact wording, “Hey, it’s yo boy Dave Lauda..I’m just callin’ to say hey and see if you got home okay. Call me back, aight?”  It took about two hours for my adrenaline to subside enough for me to call him back.  It was his twenty- first birthday and he had called me...me!  Just to talk.

I called him again the next day, and he called me the day after that.  I was so excited to tell you and Liz all about it when you came to visit in July.  That was an awesome trip.  I loved visiting New York and Boston, staying up late talking.  I was dumbstruck when Liz told me he had been our friend’s date to her work party the week before you guys came out.  What? I knew it was too good to be true.  There was no way he would even consider dating me, I was, as usual, the friend, and I was sure he was going to tell me all about him and this other girl and have me counsel him through it.  It seemed my lot in life.  I wasn’t going to take it this time though.  No, I couldn’t fake it with him and pretend that I wanted him and her to live happily ever after, no matter how perfect they both were.  

A few days after you and Liz flew back to Colorado he called me. I think we were talking about how his roommate Ryan had stolen his towel and how he’d had it with communal living in the ministry houses.  I was listening but my mind was not engaged, I just kept thinking about how we could be so close and he just goes out with another girl and doesn’t even mention it.  The whole conversation I kept waiting for it to come up, but now he said he was at Osh and he had to go. I made up my mind to call him back.  This is pretty much how it went, “Okay, so I know this will probably ruin our friendship and make things super awkward between us, but I hope not.  I know how much you value honesty in people, so I feel like I better just stop beating around the bush and get to it.  You see, well, I am so happy to be your friend but since the day I met you I’ve liked you and wanted to go out with you.  So, I just figured I should put that out there so down the road you aren’t like, ‘Hey, I had no idea you had ulterior motives,’ and stuff, so yeah, talking to you has been the highlight of my summer but I guess being real and honest is more important than me getting to hear your voice everyday...so yeah...”

Silence...