It had been almost four years since Anne came screeching into the world. Joe and I had pretty much adjusted to the fact that there would be only two delights to fill our life. Miscarriages and lateness of years had stamped me unfertile. Unashamed thankfulness bathed us for the two perfect daughters who already graced our home and we were moving on to another chapter, another scenario, another stage of life. And then it happened. Katie and Anne were over the moon and voted for a puppy or an older brother! But God had something else in mind. A little sister would be coming in fall and we were all amazed at the miracle of changed plans and interrupted cycles.
Miraculous from the start, she came 3 weeks early and was still over 9 pounds. The other two had been quickly delivered, but this one…she had a mind of her own even in the womb. After the arrival, I was hurtled into severe postpartum, which lasted not for days, nor months, but years. My recollection of my newborn are sparse and blurred. Thankfully, there were other mothers who could swaddle her, bathe her, feed her. And Joe became Mr. Mom. My only goal was solitary and distinct…to survive another day. One clarion memory trumpets from the fog of that past. It entails me fretting that I would never live to care for her past the age of 2.
Tomorrow is her birthday. And twenty-two will be her age. Tears rim my eyes at the grace of living to see her grow and flourish. The nightmare of the past never completely forgotten, but eclipsed by the brilliance of the difference her life has made. I am young because she is young. I am gloriously happy because she glories in who God has created her to be. I am fiercely protective because now I am able to be, and her road has not been smooth, her path has not been clear, her way has not been easy. But she has overcome because He, knowing that the world would bring her tribulation, has overcome. Kind, compassionate, hilarious, sensitive, amazingly thoughtful, a servant, an athlete, a sculptor, a sister, an aunt, a friend, but most of all my cherished daughter she dances through this life sprinkling wonder on all she touches. 
Happy Birthday, Janie. Oh the plans He has for you now…how humbled I am to be here to witness them.
Marion, my life has been ever-changed by not only the incredible impact your husband had upon my life, but the impact your wonderful daughters had upon me. However, these powerful experiences have always been eclipsed by your life. I was in high school while you suffered through your depression. I am super oversensitive, and I watched Joe (a man as amazing as my dad) support you and love you through it. I watched you recover and become (again), a super-amazing mom and person. Then your bout with cancer...which you battled unfazed (from my outside point of view). I remember your undying smile during the worst of it. (That's NOT an easy thing to do, I know)
ReplyDeleteMarion, your whole family is an incredible shining light for Jesus. But you, for me, outshine them all. You have persevered, you have suffered unquestioningly, you have survived not for yourself but for your family and those that need you...and want you.
My father will always be my number one example of how to live like Jesus. I've never told you this before...but you, Marion, are my second. I have quietly admired you and how you (and your strong family) have dealt with debilitating issues and have emerged stronger and more beautiful.
God bless you, Marion...and your family...besides my own, I have never encountered a family so beautiful in Christ (I just made that expression up...but I think you know what I mean). SO...thank you. Thank you so much for being an inspiration to me.
I am suffering from debilitating anxiety and depression disorders...but looking to you and your amazing husband (and daughters) are a constant source of hope.
If I ever see you again, I hope to repay you in some small manner with a tear-filled hug. I'm sorry I never thanked you sooner.
Talk about tear-filled, I am weeping at my desk. My prayers for you will be constant, though I don't know who you are. Believe me when I say that joy truly does come in the morning...it is waiting for that morning that is so incredibly hard. You know that I literally feel your pain and sense the suffering you are going through. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do to strengthen you during this time.
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